


Damn Insurance

by catwesker



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Mass Effect
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Gags, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 19:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4071466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catwesker/pseuds/catwesker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Piers Nivans and Shepard meet in heaven and discuss their respective demise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damn Insurance

**Author's Note:**

> This is a spontaneously written cross-over scenario between characters Piers Nivans (Resident evil 6) and male Shepard (Mass Effect). Warning, some gayness ensues. Best if you've seen this ME3 parody video for the joke reference: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpeRk1YFn8s>

Shepard: Damn those stingy Bioware and EA bastards! How could they cut out on my insurance just cause "Oh the devs busted their budget"!

Piers: At least you lasted three full games…

Shepard: Damn truth. But I died once before.

Piers: And they brought you back. If only Capcom would do that for me.

Shepard: OK I gotta admit I'm grateful for that. At least I lasted 80 more gaming hours.

Piers: How'd you die?

Shepard: Saving a friend.

Piers raises and eyebrow: Oh? Was it someone special...?

Shepard: Joker? LULz! Nah. he's a great guy, I love him, we all do, but not that way. No.

Piers: Oh. Wow. That's ... really noble of you.

Shepard: Yea? What 'bout you?

Piers: Oh uh.. *scratches head sheepishly* Well... something similar I guess

Shepard raises an eyebrow and grins: Oooohhh? Someone speshul…?

Piers: I guess you can say that... *ignores his own blush*

Shepard: Sweet. Did you guys bang before your mission?

Piers: WUT?

Shepard: You know, bang? *rocks his hips as demonstration*

Piers: I know "bang" but no! Jesus, why'd you ask that?

Shepard gasps: You mean you DON'T bang before EVERY suicidal mission..!?

Shepard is in shock: Wow... that's some epic loss.

Piers: Look, he doesn't know, alright?

Shepard spits batarian shard wine out of his nose: You died never telling him how you feel!?

Piers: He doesn't need to know. Heck, he could barely remember about himself. It'll only make things worse and harder for us at the end if he knows.

Touched, Shepard covers his mouth wearing a look like he's gonna cry: Damn hero...

Shepard: You deserve so much more, you know that?

Piers: Well I... *looks sad, head hanging low*

Shepard puts an arm around him: Hey... it's alright... we'll bang ok?

*COUP DE GRACE*


End file.
